A Change is Gonna Come

July 7, 2020

A Change is Gonna Come

Anger-a feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong.

I usually go quiet when I’m angry. When I worked at a PRU, kids messing about in my classroom would say "stop it now, she’s gone quiet." People who know me, will tell you that that’s when they know something is seriously wrong.

Mostly, my quietness is because I don’t like confrontation, I’m looking for a way to distract and repair. I’d rather let something go by and address it later in some other way, after everyone has had time to reflect.

Looking back I know there are some things that I have let go by completely, because I was tired or didn’t want to bring it back up, or because I couldn’t see the point of addressing it, or, the old adage-there were bigger fish to fry and I told myself that I was choosing my battles wisely.

There’ve also been times when I’ve had to keep myself and other people safe so my anger would remain hidden, placed in a mental box for safe keeping.

Right now, I’m angry. Very angry.

I want to be the person who rails against the world and shouts until someone listens. I want to be responsible for creating and demanding change, but I’m not an activist or a lobbyist in any shape or form. I don’t like tension or aggression and I’m not very good at finding the right words to assert myself in a debate.

What I am is a listener. I’m a person who picks up the pieces. In a riot I’d be the person who goes in afterwards and helps to clean up. I’m a listener and I want to heal that which hurts and find out how I can help to put things right. I’m a listener and I want to know what is already working that we can make more of.

As a human; a woman, a mother, a wife, a teacher, a friend, a student, a consumer and an ally, I do have an opinion. I have a responsibility to have an opinion and a responsibility to voice that opinion in a way that benefits and affects positive change. I have a responsibility to behave in a way that matches my opinion and supports my beliefs. My belief in fairness, equality, equity, peace and hope.

As a therapist, I hold no opinion or judgement nor do I have a personal expectation of the person in front of me. If you request my help then you will have had a good reason to do that, just as you will have had good reason to experience your life choices to that point and then good reason to continue to experience life as you wish, or plan to, afterwards.

None of that is any of my business, unless you want it to be.

All I hold in our sessions is the belief in you - that you have the ability to make any changes you want to, and a hope that you will discover something that is useful to you that will help you live well and thrive.

When you attend sessions at Blue Canary Therapy you can be assured that our work together will be underlined by an ethos of genuine caring and safety, of fairness, of peace and hope, of equality, equity and inclusivity.

Your life matters.

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